


freebies at sea

by CapriciousCrab



Series: bingo 2019 [6]
Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Established Relationship, Fake Marriage, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-09
Updated: 2019-10-09
Packaged: 2020-11-28 00:40:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 751
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20957591
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CapriciousCrab/pseuds/CapriciousCrab
Summary: “I may have done something that you’re not going to like.”





	freebies at sea

**Author's Note:**

> Written for the PFF Bingo 2019
> 
> prompt: fake marriage

“I may have done something that you’re not going to like.”

Phil says it fast, like ripping off a bandage to minimize the sting. He looks over at Dan to see him lowering his phone slowly, a look of dread growing across his face. It’s not the first time he’s heard these words, after all.

“Oh god, what have you done now? Please tell me you didn’t book us on one of those crazy American party boats. Phil, I swear to god…” Dan’s sigh is heavy and exasperated as he rubs his hands over his face.

Phil wishes he could feel offended over Dan’s lack of faith in him but he knows very well that he might have booked one of those showy American cruises if Dan hadn’t firmly put his foot down. “I didn’t book a party boat! I booked us a nice, proper, staid British cruise that should be free from anyone below the age of fifty.”

“Ohh, quite the pithy statement there, Phil. And people say _ I’m _the drama queen,” Dan laughs. “Go on, then, you proper British lad. Tell me what you’ve done.”

“Well, they had this promo-”

“Oh, Jesus Christ. Phil, you cheap bastard.”

“Hey, I’m not cheap, I’m frugal! And look, we’re paying £8,000 for this cruise. The least they could do was offer up some freebies.” Phil says with a defensive giggle. 

Dan covers his eyes and moans. “Freebies. God help me; the man wants freebies. Of course he does, I know how that brain works. For fuck's sake.” He peeks through his fingers at Phil’s laughing, blushy face. “Well?” he asks.

“I kind of told them we were married. They offered so many upgrades, Dan! Free champagne at boarding, a bigger balcony, a- Dan? Dan, come back!” 

He can’t hold back his laughter as he watches Dan slink out of the room in mortified silence.

*

Phil starfishes across the queen size bed and sighs with delight, looking up to find Dan watching him with a fond smile on his face. He budges over and pats the space next to him invitingly.

“C’mon, join me. It’s so soft and cozy,” he says, giving Dan his most winning smile. It works; the bed bouncing a bit when Dan flops down next to him with a sigh. “See, now aren’t you glad we got upgraded?”

Dan turns his head and raises an eyebrow. “Phil, this isn’t an upgrade. You literally lied in order to get free things,” he says in disbelief. 

“I didn't see you turning away the free champagne,” Phil says breezily. “Anyway, we’ve been together for ten years now. In some parts of the world, we would be considered common-law married.” He stretches out and gives a happy wriggle. “Besides, you were the one who didn’t want to get married.”

Dan pushes up on his elbow and gives Phil an indignant look. “I refuse to get married in Vegas, Phil. You know how tacky that is!” he squawks.

“I would say that it’s more kitschy than tacky but, semantics,” Phil says with a good-natured shrug. “Just let the record show that I asked and you refused.”

But Dan doesn’t smile like Phil expected him to. He looks pensive, chewing on his bottom lip as he reaches for Phil’s hand. 

“Phil- ,” Dan begins, only to stop and start over. “Phil, I didn’t hurt you by saying no did I? Because I thought you were joking and if you were serious and I didn’t know and you’ve been hurting this entire time without saying something, because that is absolutely a thing that you do-”

“Aww, Danny. Of course you didn’t hurt me. I knew you would say no.” Phil rolls over and settles himself on top of Dan’s warm body. He leans down and presses a lingering kiss to Dan’s lips before pulling back once more. “Maybe the next time I ask, you’ll say yes though _ hmm _?’

He watches as a smile curves those pretty lips, softening Dan’s face into something warm and sweet. He’ll never get tired of looking at that face, of holding those hands or kissing those lips, and Phil knows that he’ll be the one looking and holding and kissing Dan until the end of time, marriage or not.

Phil presses one more loud, smacking kiss to Dan’s lips then rolls off the side of the bed. He holds his hand out and tugs Dan up, dragging him toward the door. 

“Come on husband; we get a free dessert with dinner!”

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading!
> 
> You can like and reblog [here](https://capriciouscrab.tumblr.com/post/188224379280/freebies-at-sea-rating-g-word-count-750) if you'd like :)


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